|Spring is here in Santa Rosa, Ca|
In a different way.
For ten years, I haven't earned much money. Only a small percent of what I earned the previous ten years before that.
It has been a struggle emotionally, and mentally not making as much money as I did before the recession. For many years, especially when I worked in the mortgage industry, I measured my work value by the amount of money I made.
When I owned my pet sit business for six years after the recession, I measured a good part of my success by how many clients I booked. I didn't focus on the money as much as long as I made enough to pay the bills since I was feeling fulfilled in the work I was doing. Also, I figured my income would increase as the years I stayed in business grew along with my list of clientele. That idea was wiped out in 2017 as most of my clients tragically lost their homes in the Tubbs Fire.
After losing my business, I bounced around to different jobs. I found myself obsessing about the money, how much money the jobs out there were paying. I became depressed and a bit angry about the low wages, some hourly wages so stagnant, to my dismay they matched the wages I earned back in the 90's !
I was not satisfied or happy with what I made for the effort I put in for many months.
It really bothered me how little I made and it affected my self esteem.
I have found a job being of Service. I work for a nonprofit. It's a decent wage. It pays the bills. And best of all. I don't think about the money. My value. My work is tied to my service, not how much money I make.
I am fulfilled in so many ways, that money is at the bottom of the list not the top.
This feels incredible.
It's a new relationship with work and a whole new feeling around money.
I am curious to see what manifests in the future as money becomes more of a tool in my life and less of a want and burden.