Financial Torture

Sheep Farm on Backroads before Sheltering In
Some may call it financial torture.  I would have in the past. Now I call it financial accountability.

When I lost my farm (tired of this story, yet, lol), I had to buckle down my finances. I had 3 dogs, 1 parrot, 3 goats and 3 horses to support with no farm to keep them. I had to earn enough money for feed, board, vet care, supplements,  grooming supplies, and the farrier.

Every month, sometimes an emergency that day required payment to keep us going along with the car, my pet sit business and my living expenses.

I learned to keep a tight budget otherwise I would lose my animals and that was not a risk I was willing to take.

So, I jotted down my expenses meticulously.  I reviewed my expenses meticulously.

Everyday.  Then. Everyday. Today. I don't skip a day ever. I go line by line and review every single expense. On my phone I have my bank account and credit card apps for easy access.

Each item, and sometimes it hurts especially when I've made purchases that really weren't necessary or in my budget.

I ask myself.  How do I feel honestly about this purchase.  Was it necessary? Could I have lived without it? Is it something that will enhance my life or make it more difficult.  Is it good for the environment,  the animals,  my health? Maybe I could have waited? Or maybe this purchase costs me something but I still learned from it. Did this donation feel good or was I manipulated or guilted into giving it. Maybe it could have done more good somewhere else?

Tough questions.

In the beginning,  when I first took a good long look at my money habits, it was extremely painful and these questions seemed torturous and I would sometimes beat my self up instead of healing my unconscious choices and be kind to myself.

I used to make big financial mistakes.  I still make mistakes but they are not huge anymore.

You might think this financial daily review takes me all day. It doesn't.

Fifteen minutes tops.

15 minutes a day saves me hours and days of anxiety and stuffing denial.

The answers reveal a picture,  a true picture of what my finances look like.

I need that picture to create my dreams,  not live in a fantasy, waking up to a financial nightmare later.

And I have been through many a financial nightmare.  And there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I got through it. One expense at a time.

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