|Something in the Oven|
It is raining this morning. Cold and wet. I looked out my window at my new sitting area in the soon to be garden, watching the mist grow heavier. The comforting sound of pigeons cooing from the rooftops.
I tossed and turned all night with waves of anxiety. Sometimes it was hard to breathe, so I sat up in a comatose meditative state waiting for my stomach to settle. I haven't been hit with anxiety like that for quite awhile. I gave up on sleeping and let insomnia take over.
I don't have anything specific to say about anxiety except maybe it was an inevitable realization that I am out of control again.
This morning, the anxiety is gone. My mind and body too tired to honor the uninvited guest.
I brewed a cup of coffee and read for a bit. I gathered my energy to bake. Baking is cozy. It makes one feel taken care of. It gives a sense of wellbeing.
It's all going to be alright.
I found a krusteaz packaged cinnamon muffin mix in the pantry. No need to get fancy and work from scratch. Easy is good.
When I was a kid, we always had bisquick in the pantry. Growing up, we learned quick how to make the coffee cake recipe on the back. I never grew tired off it.
I think probably my first or close to first baking experience was making something out of bisquick. It was so versatile. Muffins, pancakes, coffee cake, biscuits were born out of that box.
With Krusteaz box in hand, I mixed up a cinnamon coffee cake, added the prepackaged brown sugar crumbles, and I got creative on my part and added sliced apple.
It's in the oven. It's raining outside. My partner is frying eggs and potatoes for breakfast.
I feel like a kid again.
I can do this.