Lost and Found

Throw it Together Dinner

Yesterday, it was hot. Emotions ran high. I left the house in a hurry, irritated, overheated and half asleep from a nap to help a family member.

I didn't realize my bra was askew.
Until the neighbor and his husband gave me a big hello while they were pulling in their garbage cans. 
I didn't have time to blush or worry about it

These days you prioritize.
Food. Check.
Water. Check.
Shelter. Check.

Last night. I couldn't fix anything. Last night I had no vision for the future. It was hazy. I know there is some sort of Oasis through the desert.
It feels like a distant mirage.

I keep falling in the mud.
I pull myself back up.
Only to fall in the mud again.
There are flowers down here.
They give me hope.

I am always looking for the flowers.
I'm at the parking lot helping my friend get home.
I'm irritated. I'm not in a place of giving unconditionally.
The moment has presented itself for me to redeem myself.
I fail miserably.
I watch a bicyclist and motorist verbally assault each other.
I wonder how I ended up here.

I place the frozen pizza my mother gave me.
In the oven.
I pour a glass of red wine filling it with ice.
I haven't indulged in alcohol for weeks.
Protecting my immune system.

I carry my plate of luke warm pizza.
My iced wine.
To the porch.
I sit.
I watch the sunset.
The breeze blows on me in ripples and waves.
Reminding me of the ocean I haven't seen in weeks.

I eat my pizza.
I sip my cold wine.
I search the sky.
Waiting for answers.

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